17 7 / 2012
"When a jury goes to retire,
To decide if your client’s a liar,
Waiting’s a pressure,
(Hoping for refreshers)
Provided the canteen isn’t dire"
17 7 / 2012
"In pre-sentence reports
It’s vital to show your remorse
Probation don’t know
If it’s real or for show
When sentencing-neither does the court"
16 7 / 2012
"A silk, wild with glee,
Said “Nothing’s more pleasing to me
Than shafting a witness
By questioning his fitness
To say he saw what he’s seen"
12 7 / 2012
"An old barristerial chap
Said “my practice is really quite crap!”
For a long lunch he went
(A boozy event)
And now he’s gone home for a nap."
11 7 / 2012
"He’s a saviour!”
Says your clerk (offering a favour
To those who instruct)
But the barrister’s fucked
As there’s never reciprocal behaviour"
10 7 / 2012
"Solicitors can be rather mean,
If you don’t stamp your CDS14,
Without Legal Aid,
No bugger gets paid,
And YOU certainly won’t earn a bean."
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10 7 / 2012
"Tried with ridiculous hype
#JohnTerry got Howard the stipe
A 5 day listing
His QC will be blisterin’
But his defence is a load of old tripe."
09 7 / 2012
"RT @twitmericks: A Chelsea defender named John/Had words with a rival Anton/JT denies racism/The charge that now faces ‘im/The case of John Terry goes on."
09 7 / 2012
"RT @twitmericks: A senior banker named Tucker/Gave bosses at Barclays no succour/Saying fixing the Libor/Was no shame that I bore/Twas Mr Bob Diamond, the F-"
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