July 2012
15 posts
“When a jury goes to retire,
To decide if your client’s a liar,...”
– Barristocrat
“In pre-sentence reports
It’s vital to show your remorse
Probation...”
– Barristocrat
“A silk, wild with glee,
Said “Nothing’s more pleasing to me
Than...”
– Barristocrat
“An old barristerial chap
Said “my practice is really quite crap!”...”
– Barristocrat
“He’s a saviour!”
Says your clerk (offering a favour
To those who...”
– Barristocrat
“Solicitors can be rather mean,
If you don’t stamp your CDS14,
Without...”
– Barristocrat
“Tried with ridiculous hype
#JohnTerry got Howard the stipe
A 5 day listing...”
– Barristocrat
“RT @twitmericks: A Chelsea defender named John/Had words with a rival Anton/JT...”
– Barristocrat
“RT @twitmericks: A senior banker named Tucker/Gave bosses at Barclays no...”
– Barristocrat
“RT @HumanRightsLawA: @Barristocrat ‘de minimis non curat lex’”
– Barristocrat
“RT @HumanRightsLawA: @Barristocrat there was a law student called lex, with...”
– Barristocrat
“RT @twitmericks: There is a young man from Dunblane/Whose face betrayed anguish...”
– Barristocrat
“Oh I see!” said the OIC
“This PACE is news to me!”
The...”
– Barristocrat
“First you get puking and mewling, Then very pissed off with your schooling, Then...”
– Barristocrat
2 tags
“First you get puking and mewling,
Then very pissed off with your schooling,...”
– Robert Conquest
June 2012
21 posts
“Send him down!” Said the judge
With no hint of a grudge
So certain he...”
– Barristocrat
“In a mitigation plea
The pupil said with glee:
‘Custody...”
– Barristocrat
“A good egg by the name of Sean Jones
was granted his silky robes
The Lord...”
– Barristocrat
“The old robing room
Resounds to prophesies of doom;
And criminal hacks
When...”
– Barristocrat
8 tags
“You want a career at the Bar?
If clever then you will go far,
As long as...”
– Barristocrat
9 tags
“In a hectic legal jungle,
Where wheely bags trundle,
New pupils, take heed:...”
– Barristocrat
6 tags
“Morning, noon & bloody night,
Seven sodding days a week,
I slave at filthy...”
– Philip Larkin, The Complete Poems of Philip Larkin, ed. Archie Burnett, (Faber & Faber, 2012)
8 tags
“At 10 I was ready to go,
But the list is just being so slow;
For delay...”
– Barristocrat
10 tags
“When representing a thief
His intentions may shake like a leaf
If he changes...”
– Barristocrat
7 tags
“Bugger,the barrister thought
In 4 days off work I’ve done naught...”
– Barristocrat
9 tags
“The infamous #TwitterJokeTrial
Went on for quite a while
Poor old Paul...”
– Barristocrat
9 tags
“Two judges couldn’t agree
So they are set to be three
Hopefully not to...”
– Barristocrat
9 tags
“Psychos and alcoholics
Counsel engaging in frolics
But why is #Silk poor?...”
– Barristocrat
6 tags
“Oh really what is the use!”
Said the lad (his face turning puce)...”
– Barristocrat
6 tags
“It’s not just a sin of omission
Delays to pay barristers wishin
To...”
– Barristocrat
7 tags
“There is a Temple called Inner
That serves a superlative dinner
Masters get...”
– Barristocrat
6 tags
“There once was a moot held at speed
An astonishing thing indeed
Much like...”
– Barristocrat
8 tags
“RT @MTStudents: The MTSA are planning to run a Speed Moot in June provided that...”
– Barristocrat
5 tags
“Reaching Friday with glee
The prospect of 4 days off free
But Counsel was glum...”
– Barristocrat
6 tags
“Interviews can be a bit hairy,
Barristers can be frankly scary,
But the...”
– Barristocrat
5 tags
“A clerk with sadistic bent
To faraway courts often sent
Barristers out of...”
– Barristocrat
May 2012
7 posts
“If you’re summoned to interview
Make sure you have a nice suit
Try not...”
– Barristocrat
“There is an irate old DJ
Ventilating her wrath and rage
On the advocates...”
– Barristocrat
“But all is not woe,
For our intrepid hero -
And despite judges that shock,...”
– Barristocrat
“Pupillage he’d undertaken,
With an impression sorely mistaken,
That...”
– Barristocrat
“Each day I walk out of court,
It strikes me really I ought,
To let the world...”
– Barristocrat
“Too many complaints to recount,
A job so often the fount,
Of stresses and...”
– Barristocrat
“A young barristerial chap,
Fed up with taking the crap
his profession...”
– Barristocrat 