03 7 / 2012
"First you get puking and mewling,
Then very pissed off with your schooling,
Then fucks and then fights,
Then judging chaps’ rights,
Then sitting in slippers, then drooling."
11 6 / 2012
"In a hectic legal jungle,
Where wheely bags trundle,
New pupils, take heed:
What will increase your speed
Is a well-tabbed, paginated bundle"
06 6 / 2012
"When representing a thief
His intentions may shake like a leaf
If he changes his plea
To one of guilty
Just make sure you endorse the brief"
05 6 / 2012
"Bugger,the barrister thought
In 4 days off work I’ve done naught
It’s gone by so quick
Now I’m in the shit
As tomorrow I’ll be back in court"
01 6 / 2012
"Two judges couldn’t agree
So they are set to be three
Hopefully not to resile
In the #TwitterJokeTrial
From principles keeping speech free"
01 6 / 2012
"Psychos and alcoholics
Counsel engaging in frolics
But why is #Silk poor?
Because it ignores law?
Or the fact that the advocacy’s bollocks!"
01 6 / 2012
"Oh really what is the use!”
Said the lad (his face turning puce)
“I can’t work any faster
For my pupilmaster
It’s frankly just pupil abuse"
01 6 / 2012
"Reaching Friday with glee
The prospect of 4 days off free
But Counsel was glum
To realisation he’d come
That no court meant getting no fee"
01 6 / 2012
"Interviews can be a bit hairy,
Barristers can be frankly scary,
But the #pupillage process,
Is rather a mess
In the end it’s quite arbitrary"
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01 6 / 2012
"A clerk with sadistic bent
To faraway courts often sent
Barristers out of favour
Are often heard to quaver
Where the fuck’s Stoke on Trent?!"
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